I just found all of my Mary-Kate and Ashley movies. Can you say drinking game?
If u were an xman, what would ur power be? I would shoot lasers from my boobs.
afterward, he apologized, hugged me, and then gave me a granola bar and said “this is my apology gift.”
I'm just saying, margarita tuesday would turn anyone gay.
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Uh yeah. I ate a brick of cheese. Didn't even cut it. We were admiring the teeth marks I was leaving. We decided it was the negative of my mouth
That was like me applying to a law school drunk at 5 am
Hahaha. That's funny.
But I got an 18k dollar per year scholarship
Oh my god I peed in a park last night and then tried to set off fireworks with a group of middle-aged men
I thought my dog was a polar bear. I kept asking how the north pole was this time of year.
Handcuffs. Recoverd. I'm a goddamn detective.
yeah but really his dick tasted like soap. like i was blowing a bar of soap
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
I saw his new girlfriend. She was flashing people, short and kinda chubby. I was happy with my life after that.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
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