So I had sex in the woods... it was just as dirty as you'd expect it would be.. and not in a good way.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Ever since I discovered that youporn works on blackberry, my brickbreaker skills have gone to shit
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
I'm considering having a threesome with my friend just so I can sleep with his boyfriend and not feel guilty about it.
Who are you, and why are you in my phone as Elf on the Shelf
Apparently I taped knives to my hands and made everyone call me wolverine
Like woke up with a dick piercing kind of drunk.
He kept telling me that it stood for Sex Utility Vehicle
all his sexual metaphors involve condiments, should I worry?
I got with a bridesmaid and a server as well as put an $80 tab in rum and coke under the name Emerson Iglesias. Are you sure it wasn't my wedding?
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
Randomize
