just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
I got otter pops to cool the beers, it's an all around better idea.
Hulk Hogan has now convinced 2 women to marry him & I have yet to have a successful or healthy relationship. I am officially depressed.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
I got laid and laid off at a conference in long beach all on the same day
Eh. They balance each other out
Lol i have proven this trip that I can meet a chick and fuck her within 72 hours no matter where she lives
Ask her if it hurt when she broke through earths crust as she ascended from hell
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
If anybody had to puke on my shoes, I'm glad it was you.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I wasn't even hungover I was just mourning my dignity
My boss stocked the communal fridge with Gatorade. It's like he wants me to come in hungover.
I woke up not knowing what state I was in. Turns out, people from Deleware are pretty helpful.
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