you made cement angels. it was a great sight.
woke up to an overdrawn credit card. did you order the dawsons creek boxset last night?
i hope so.
i'm at the st pattys day thing. the bar is packed. they just put on celine dion its all coming back to me now. i'm screaming the words.
it's 1 pm.
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Well pretty sure I lost 3 of my best friends in one week. Remember when I said I wasn't sure if I was gonna be a better person or a more despicable one in 2012. Despicable wins.
You turned byob into bring your own shit show. Good work.
Discovered a freckle on my clitoris. What have you done today?
weekly advice from mom, "Drink vodka, it las hess calories"
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
I feel I should send an apology letter to my anesthesiologist.
you were acting out moves from the wwe, in a dress. then you sceamed "you can't see me" and ran out of the apt.
Best single mom victory - getting eaten out in my dodge caravan in the hospital parkade at midnight.Three words: screaming multiple orgasms.
Randomize
