she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Eating alone in the dark with one candle. This is sorta sad.
the vast amounts of cleavage i'm sporting to my final says "no, I didn't study but don't worry I've got something lined up for when I don't graduate".
I'm lying on the floor in the back room praying my boss doesn't come to work today.never again
I want to do something romantic. Like gargle champagne before I put your dick in my mouth.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Have the decency to NOT HANG YOU'RE USED CONDOM ON THE FOOSEBALL HANDLES! Dickhead.
I have a gyno appt today. I hate it when the Army gets involved with my vagina.
Just so you know, your wedding is in the same place I gave my first bj.
We were having sex in the gardens when the grounds keeper walked up on us. He gave me a thumbs up and walked away
Mischief managed.
YOU ARE NOT A MARAUDER, WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO NOW?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
last night is slowly putting itself back together. Its one giant slutty puzzle, all the pieces are covered in tequila and shame.
i like coming up with different names when i reference that night. 'the night i got kicked out of the bar', 'the night i escaped from the hospital', 'the night we had that threeway'...
So drinking that old rum that I found in the ceiling of my dorm was prob not my best idea. But good news: my puke was so colorful b/c of all the skittles i ate
Randomize
