i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
Let's just say after this weekend I'm known as Shameous the Irish bar fighter.
He was like Sweeney Todd... But, without the killing people part.
So... He's a barber?
No. He's got crazy hair, and a revenge fetish. But he's hot. Does that make up for it?
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
That's what he gets for shittin at the strip club. Who does that??
My day in three words: secret purse cake
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
My cast smells like cheese steak rolls
Fell asleep on kitchen floor again, chicken nuggets everywhere.
Be safe. If you have intercourse with a boy use so many condoms this his penis is no longer recognizable.
I just realized my hands still smell like your cock. Which is awesome, but I wonder if the clerk at the store appreciated it.
I feel bad. I'm the reason hand sanitizer exists.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
Randomize
