dude she has hot friends.. do you want blonde brunette or red head.. maybe asian?
what is this build-a-bear? .. just gimme one thats breathing
smoking a bowl while I'm peeing. i love having a big dick.
I blacked out after the shots of canned lobster bisque.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I opened up my wallet and it was filled with puke.
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
I am lonely and I want to touch your beard
I'm almost too hungover to function. Got into the wrong car by mistake. there was a rotweiler in it. Thank god he was more confused than i was for a minute.
I can control the tv with my phone while pooping on the second floor. I thought you should know for future reference
Today is National Blunt Day in the Great State of Me. Come ovah
Your friend gave me you're number. I was the guy locked behind the book shelf.
I think you have the wrong number, but I hope you escaped your library-prison?
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
Hungover. No words. Just memes.
He's coming over again? GIRL, you're thoroughly enjoying the month of Dicktember.
My lash glue is stronger than my sense of self respect
Randomize
