Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
During sex he started singing that song in Forgetting Sarah Marshall--"Inside of You"--by Russell Brand
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
I almost didn't wake up for my first day of work. The 3rd bottle of champagne was a mistake. And the 2nd bottle of wine after that was probably excessive
Hhahaha he is. Omg the new polish friend just took his pants off in front of me. There is something wrong with this nationality.
i wanna meet her so much more now that I know she got toed in a hottub.
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
I figure hes like disneyworld. You know youre only going once or twice in life. Might as well have fun and ride the rides
You went through my pantry and left one of everything in the box. One cracker. One cheesit. One piece of cereal. I really fucking hate you.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
He literally wrote out a schedule. On it, there's a taco break, and a spot where I start crying.
All I know is that I have a black eye and an extra $200 in my wallet. Other than that, clueless.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
I walked in on my sister eating my leftover burrito naked. How could my night have gotten any worse?
There's a big ass bed, hella ecstasy, and I can guarantee you'll regret every second that you remember.
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