My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
He asked me how my body knew that a month was up when it was time for my period.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
The guy behind me is talking about how his life goal is to use his knowledge of mathematics to make the world a better place. My only life goal right now is getting through this lecture without throwing up in my lap.
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Yeah the last text says "How many your ass,,,,, prepare it" so take that for what it is
Dougie got over his pride nerves. Found him dancing on a float wearing nothing but rainbow boxers.
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
Fuck you. I've got onesies to keep me warm at night. And this bottle.
THAT BEAUTIFUL FACE AND HEAVENLY LIGHTING IS NOT HELPING THE NOT DEAD POINT HOW DO I NOT KNOW YOU ARE NOT TEXTING ME FROM THE AFTERLIFE
The after life smells like latex gloves and hand soap
I'm covered in glow paint and shame. I'm never leaving this country
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
The report specifies "melted cheese food" as the cause of the burns. Your pride, like your cock, isn't getting out of this without heavy damage.
Randomize
