I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
my girls lil sis wanted to play hide & seek. she told her 2 go hide. we went to the room and had sex. she was hiding under the bed.
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
St Patricks Day is not the day you decide to have a sober epiphany.
Yea we slept in ur room but im 80% sure we didnt have any peanut butter in there
I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward
I think I hit my head on every surface in that apartment last night
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
Dude. The amount of love and appreciation from a house full of stoners when you come home at 4 am with donuts is overwhelming. The kind of love to make Jesus have to work a little harder at his unconditional love thing.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
We were at dinner and dad asked me to pass the salt and I suddenly remembered doing body shots when I was blacked out last weekend.
I'm the only person who goes to break up a friends with benefits and comes out with a boyfriend
And as drunk as I was I was able to show my mom how to make text italicized in Microsoft word
last night i was way too drunk and i was forcing people to let me tell them about mammals
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
