sorry if i was weird last night, had weird deja vu that we had done that before, i mean with the peanut butter.
we had.
well that explains the rash. i dont think i should see you again.
I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
Guess who got arrested for public drunkiness, and called jimmy johns for the entire station last night instead of someone to bail me out? The cop that arrested me drove me home. Win.
Where does it all go? I've busted inside of you like 10 times in the last week.
we found you eating frozen orange juice with a spoon and then drinking vodka from the bottle.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
If you hear screaming in the middle of the night, bat got loose. Call poison control immediately and explain rabies
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just watched how this is made for an hour because I was tooo high to remember what they were making. it was like a prize at the end.
you walked onto the street in the middle of the 10K in your thong. it was a whole new kind of expirience.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
ARTHUR IS ON FUCKING NETFLIX THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
When we got into his bed, his damn parrot started making sex noises in the other room
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
