did you get engaged???
How is Miami?
Omk. I'm shitggaved om loincoln
I could make wine with my vomit
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
It's just a matter of time. The ball is in my court. Soon to be in her mouth.
please come over and have sex with me so we can talk about prom and kill 2 birds with one condom
I ate goldfish off your shoulder, I think we had bigger issues
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
I have three different pairs of earrings at three different houses including your 16 year old brothers nightstand. Look at my life. Look at my choices
We watched ESPN, hooked up, got waffles. You know, a typical weekend.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Sorry I can't pick up... thought process is fine but too stoned to form words.
Don’t eat the Doritos. Jeff was eating them while he was watching porn
it is time to test the effects of half a loaf of bread and overconfidence on the human body
Randomize
