THE most awkward situation I have EVER been in
Also, I just threw up a little in my mouth and had to act like everything was totally fine.
I drank gravy. I actually drank gravy. This is heaven.
My Pizza Lunchables won't fit in the fridge because of all your alcohol. One of our addictions has to give.
I wasn't vocally whispering "she wants to bite your dick off" about that kirsten girl was I?
Also I feel that I would be a hell of a sled dog operator.
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I know it was your bday but bringing a airhorn and blowing it yelling "buy me a fucking shot" in the bartenders face was a little uncalled for
She looked so much better when u didn't look at her and the music was too loud to hear her
I knew it was love when he told me he wants to see me have multiple orgasms in one night
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
COME AND FUCKING GET ME I AM IN SOME SORT OF JUNKYARD!!!
Thanks for wearing matching bob ross shirts to the bar with me and referring to every guy as a happy little accident
All I'm wearing right now is a condom and a sock.
Just one?
Yup. One sock.
Shelly has the weirdest luck. Dude offered her a job riding a bucking bronco and it was not porn or stripping but an actual g-d cow.
Randomize
