It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
so when we got to the frat house he had a travel sized toothpaste and toothbrush for me and gave me a pair of his shorts and a girl's sorority t shirt...something tells me he's done this before
I miss old school porno. There just isn't any love in porn these days.
Next time we go to the river, we nominate you to flash people for free booze. Your tits are the biggest.
Sometimes I wonder why.. Then I realize I can't fool myself with that question bc we all know it's bc of his enormous dick
I am sweating out the vodka to make room for the whiskey tonight.
I have a cut on my head from a tambourine.
Just got a message on OkCupid from a 20-year-old who has "Momma's Boy" tattoed across his chest and thinks the earth is bigger than the sun.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
It was the hardest I ever came in my life and once I could see straight again I just looked at him and said "cool"
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
We had sex to Hey Arnold, Rugrats, and All That. I feel like my life has come full circle.
Is it just me or did we have a heart to heart talk while you were naked last night?
I just found a condom in my jolly ranchers bag. This is a good omen.
Randomize
