apparently you CAN get banned from Nascar.
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
How did your new apartment party go last night?
I'm really happy i have a bigger bathroom to puke in.
I want to punch and suck your dick at the same time. I don't think we have the healthiest of relationships.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
i think this is the gayest thing you've ever shown me. and i'm pretty sure you've sent me pictures of a dude sticking his dick in a horse's nose.
I swear I can feel something in my uterus. Like, I can feel his sperm searching for an egg. Wtf...
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
You're the common denominator of my blackouts.
You don't know the true meaning of fear until your girlfriend's niece insists on sitting on your lap with 20 mg of Viagra coursing through your veins.
Never start off a conversation with "speaking of STD's..."
so this maintenance guy stood at the corner of my cubical and scratched his balls for like a full minute cause he thought no one could see him
We're going to get naked and build a fort instead. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Fun fact: I came home from the riverboat without my panties. And woke up with a different pair on.
Drunk man just fell out of said wheelchair
Randomize
