Have you ever had champagne poured on you during sex? It was like a rap video
did the hipsters beat you up because you are more ironic than they are?
she passed on me to fuck the foreign guy. is there a manlier, slightly less gay way of saying "always the bridesmaid, never the bride"?
nope.
Is he smart?
Why would i know that. That would deal with the top half of his body. I only deal with the bottom half.
I bruise way too easily for the kind of rough sex I want...
Ahhh November 1st. National Untagging Day
All I saw was a beagle come across the screen and explain the theory of relativity to me and leave
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
Your engaged. Stop telling guys you will sit on their face. They don't always know your kidding.
I puked in a solo cup and then offered it to him. So yeah, it was a rough night.
How are you feeling?
Hungover as shit. Someone just knocked on my window to make sure I was alive. I have been sleeping in the drivers seat for an hour parked outside my store. That is how okay I am.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
I DONT HAVE A FUCKING JOB RIGHT NOW. DO YOU THINK I HAVE TIME TO WASTE GOING BACK AND FORTH WITH SOMEONE WHOS LYING, ABOUT LYING, AND JUST BEING A LIAR? HONESTLY, YES I DO HAVE TIME. BUT I HAVE A FUCKING LOT BETTER THINGS I COULD BE WASTING MY TIME DOING. LIKE ORGANIZING MY POKEMON CARD COLLECTION.
No dude shes like 5 feet tall and maybe 100 pounds... Normally i wouldnt be scared but someone gave her a bat. Thats why im in the bathroom
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
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