There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I need a legitimate reason as to why the microwave door is in the shower
thanks for carrying me to bed.. and sorry for trying to roll down the hallway to escape.
His "hunger Strike for change" lasted 4 days. Hi welcome to my coke binge last weekend....not impressed
Every time you come over you bleed on everything. I'm not calling Verizon again asking if blood is considered water damage.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
He was kissing me at red light while his penis was in an aluminum beer bottle peeing..
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'd help you out but I got Bacardi and Tequila poured down my snorkel last night and I'm still drunk
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
You are in a fancy European city. The best way to truly experience the city is through Tinder
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
The guy whose house were at is drunkenly reading green eggs and ham to us in German
Hey man, he's too drunk to remember what you said. What drugs are we buying and when should we expect them?
Randomize
