Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
Ya bro it was wild. Hey, is latex digestible?
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
Tonight was the second time that I've pretended like English was my 2nd language to avoid conversation w a creeper.
I do believe at one point I was dispensing medical advice while wearing your sombrero and a hulk hand
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I'm like 87% sure some random guy starting biting my ear after grinding me for like 30 seconds... I feel suprisingly unconcerned
hope your day is as exciting as mine- one of our trauma patients just stole an ambulance out of our bay... WITH AN EMT STILL IN IT.
I give all credit to my lucky thong, there's never a time I haven't gotten laid while wearing it
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
I wet willied a stranger last night didn’t I?
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