i just rolled a joint on the giving tree. that book has given me so much.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
Are you drunk? Because I am and if you're not, this may be very awkward in the morning
Thats for me to know and you to find out.
Oh yeah, found out i got it from my boyfriend's wife. Thanks though.
Uhm after 8 I don't recall anything. All I know is there's a picture of me playing pong with my grandmother.
You proceeded to get into a playground school bus and yell "all aboard to Margaritaville!"
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
I just set my messenger to Away so I could run downstairs to masturbate. Working from home is the BEST
I wanted to write an apology letter to my vagina after that.
If I could eat my chicken parm naked, it would be the closest I could ever be to God.
I'm still amazed at how you managed to get Doritos in my damn front pocket without me noticing. I got crumbs everywhere.
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
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