i just got arrested. apparently dont move means dont move.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
Puked in the hotel lobby and just kept walking. I love mardi GRAS.
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
My vagina is not really on board with my "emotional issues"
My gyno overestimated by 3 TIMES the amount of sex we have per week. First of all, he must think I'm a freak. Secondly, I think we should catch up.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
That is was cool to fuck the single mother accross the street until every girl i bring home gets the car keyed.
You seemed underwhelmed by my smooth, smooth ass
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
I just watched my high school guidance counselor pee in the backyard of this party.
Ugh. I just found a cum stain on my mermaid pants. Now I can't return them.
Randomize
