i voted for prop eight dipshit. more weddings = more CAKE.
3 complete strangers have joyously high-fived me on campus today. Tell me why, starting after jager bomb #4.
I walked into the bathroom and the toilet was on fire... I stood there for like a minute trying to decide whether I should put it out or get my camera.
Well, we missed our public lewdness court date. Looks like were going to jail in Alabama ...
Was just told that I was slipped 2 hits of acid in my in flight drink before takeoff. 8 hours to Germany wish me luck
I need to shotgun another beer. Where's the machete?
How could I forget your birthday? I have an alarm in my phone to ask you for sex that day.
the cab driver said that we weren't the worst shit show he'd ever seen, CHALLENGE ACCEPTED!!
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
I'm excited for you as you venture towards new drug experiences
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
...Just this whole adulting thing gets in the way of mermaid drag shows at lesbian bars.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
So I hung out with an australian but woke up with a British man in my bed does that make me culturalized
Randomize
