i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
I just saw a pregnant woman with a cigarette and a beer walking into the Larry the Cable Guy show. I'm glad my taxes are paying her medical expenses.
They wont let us in. Theyve some sort of no Daft Punk costume rule
So. Camera broke because I tried to wash it under the sink, kristi had to take me home and I woke up to my computer showing me that I googled how t take more than one shot at a time. I'd say the night was a success.
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
Look at the bright side...I have an 11 inch penis
If Amber from Teen Mom can get a new boyfriend, so can I.
As per my father's affair, married men are no longer off limits.
I bought everclear. Bring your party pants and some addies
You're not gonna punch me in the face again are you?
Let's get really high and wear fake mustaches and try not to laugh at each other...
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
the bar didnt serve shots so jim ordered us jaeger neat. it worked.
Learn from me. Do not smoke cigs and fold laundry in your room. The cigarette will fall into the dresser without you noticing and your shirts will be on fire. Wanna go shopping tomorrow? I need some new shirts.
I love that there are toys on the counter. Coffee, tea, wine bottles, gag ball, and handcuffs.
My kitchen gets me.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Randomize
