Sometimes I find that I've been touching my boob(s) without even realizing it.
Yeah I'm pretty much like lane on gilmore girls except my mom doesn't look so mean all the time.
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
You can't like Harry Potter and Twilight. You have to pick. Vampires and Wizards are mutually exclusive.
how are you gonna miss the world cup? other than the olympics it's our last way to assert our dominance over China after this economic bull shit
You couldve had sex with 2 drunk chicks on an alligator slide.
There is a limo involved. Man up, and make yourself puke. Its only one more night of blacking out.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
she's a dental assistant. she can get nitrous. kinda looks like a sloppy bucket of fuck. time to take one for the team. NEED SHOTS STAT!!
my favorite homeless guy just told me I drive like Batman, achievement unlocked
Tomorrow, you will get a text, and it will bE spelled right, that's me yo, certify ya soon
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Ps. I'm slapping the bag. It's an emergency.
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
Randomize
