So it's 11:24am. I've had sex twice and been laid 3 times. I love holidays!
I understand the whole sex thing but did you really get laid or is that synonymous for more alcohol?????
Honestly.
Don't say a word.
Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
Eating in charleston sc at a seafood place called "hymans". Like normal I had no problem finding it.
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
No she had like 2 shots and started ironing her clothes and whispering random shit in my ear
I mean looking back on it, it's unlucky but at least now we can say we were in jail from 2011 to 2012
That's thinking positively..
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
Just used my eyelash curler to open a bottle of cider...
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
Summers almost over and we haven't golfed, got naked or had sex yet. Let's do all three in one day, no particular order.
Is this making any sense, because I’m puking and trying to be Philosophical right now
Randomize
