I was just curling my hair topless and I just burned my nipple. Ouch.
Drunk. Just jacked off for the third time in an hour. I love not being Catholic anymore.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
I'm paying a homeless guy $20 to follow me around bars tonight with a boombox playing the theme to Rocky.
i was gonna fuck her but then she started eatin sushi from her purse. i really need to raise my standards
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
Did you or did you not grab my boob while I was making out with the foreign kid?
My date bailed but I got to take a nap so I'm cool with it.
I feel like an involuntary Mother Theresa. I DON'T WANT TO BE ABSTINENT!
We both knew it was over when I took a u turn at her belly button.
Well I'm nervous now about the consequences of letting you loose
It's a big decision, I respect that you need to think about it.
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Idk but when you think about it the last time I did bottomless mimosas I ended up getting my nipples pierced so it might be fair
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