shes about as inviting as chlamydia
a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
I am at a striph cluv. They are ovealls everywhere. I have hot rock botto.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
Its like fucking yourself in the head with a weed strapon
He woke up, mumbled "silverware", and went back to sleep
My dildo fell into the bathtub. It sounded like a chainsaw.
My neighbor caught me peeing on his rose bushes at 2 in the morning while wearing my Santa hat. My sex appeal has never been higher.
I like to play this game where I try to reach orgasm before my bathtub overflows....lost tonight.
He was saying things like "cum for me like a good girl" and "put my entire python I like to call a dick in your mouth" .. Okay I might have changed that one a bit
currently working on a look that screams, "I'm dead inside, but still trying to enjoy the ride"
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Another thing to add to the list of things not to do while I'm drunk......explain to the upstairs neighborr how to have quiet orgasams......she now thinks I want to be part of a threesome......fuck my life
I'm like the kinda excited when David After Dentist stands up in his seat, screams, and collapses
Randomize