This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
New favorite sorority...they made me pancakes in the morning and welcomed back the walk of shame girls with a round of applause
Talking her gay man friend into dancing with me officially makes me the world's best wingman. ever.
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
Soup is not an acceptable meal before doing that many Jager bombs
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
I found ecstasy taped in my armpit... thank you drunk Marissa.
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
I haven't taken a solid shit in four weeks. Do you know what started four weeks ago? Alcohol and dining hall food. Fucking college.
Yeah plus that night got so disgusting it's basically a repressed memory anyway
So is it your turn now to pretend like dating someone else would stop us from fucking?
You went to pound town last night and chow town this morning. Boy you need a passport.
rock bottom is drinking straight vodka from a protein shaker, singing one direction and crying alone in your room. exams.
the fact that your 21st birthday is also new years eve is pretty much a death sentence
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