i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
we did shots in class this morning as part of a presentation. WHY AM I LEAVING THIS COUNTRY?!
Please tell me there isn't another video of me on the toilet...
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
classified somewhere between kinky and medically inadvisable
Lets both be adults and never talk about last night again.
He caught a cramp during sex and I was like "do you want me to get you a banana?" And he responded with "I'll give you a banana" and kept going. I'm marrying him.
Oh, in response to your "does dating get better" question...I feel like penises are getting smaller nowadays. Its been several years since I saw a good 8+ incher.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
His mom knocked on the door during morning sex because we were being too loud...now i have to meet her for the first time
Randomize
