His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Oh i know my limit. 9 shots after i've given blood.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
there's nothing like the elf drinking game to get me in the christmas spirit.
Oh my God. He stopped counting at 22.. His senior year. I feel the STDs infecting my taint as we speak.
I'm sorry that I ate boneless ribs off of your sister, but that is no reason to drink my alcohol.
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
On a scale from 1 to the worst weekend of my life, that was an 11. I can see again, though.
Listen I'm a sentimental character under all this alcohol and ratchetry
Dude, you spit in your shirt pocket saying "I'm saving it for later" then dove head first into the pyramid of beer cans we set up.
If I had 3 wishes one would for sure be a designated driver for life that gives hand jobs.
Sorry for cyberstalking your dad.
I was gonna make a strong case for you to be my midnight kiss, but poptarts sound good too
Of all of my friend's husbands, I like when yours hits on me best
Awe that means so much to us
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
Randomize
