i just smoke outta the biggest bowl i've ever seen. the kid was totally compensating for a tiny weeenie.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I just woke up wearing retainers... they are most definitely not mine
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
I need to cry about outer space to someone. Can I call you?
I don't think my body can handle the alcohol I want to put in it anymore.
I just had a threesome in the back of my mom's van. I'm pretty sure the rest of my week is going to be epic.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
Well my grandma put the turkey in the oven for 4 hours and didn't have the oven on.
I feel like one thing if I have going for me is that my bed looks like a nice place to have sex
Hope everything goes ok. If it makes you feel better, I straightened vomit into my hair and killed a bird earlier.
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
Randomize
