If I go to jail what happens to my debt?
You dont have to pay it.
I'm going to jail.
Dude i dont know how people can complain that waterboarding is such a bad thing. I just sat through a fucking puddle of mudd show. Now thats torture
Why do girls get to wear clothes that say "do me now" but guys don't have that kind of option?
I mean, what would the male equivalent of a slutty dress be?
Hey babe, chan wants you to stop texting her about the size of TJ's dick. please.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
words cant express how excited I am to make January 1st our own personal version of The Hangover
So I just went to student health services and on my way in there was a girl outside on her phone saying "I just dont want you to be angry" and on my way out she was saying "I have the side effects sheet right here" Someone started the semester off classy
The last thing I remember is you asking me how to grow french fries.
you kept saying 'its nothing a six pack wont fix' as they loaded you into the ambulance.
Just got a Snapchat of his dick with the caption 'We miss you.'
That's true love, there.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
Bad news man, we're gonna have to reschedule Golden Coral: The Musical
I don't know who the fuck this is, but right on man
If you can throw 105 mph it’s mandatory that you’re hung.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
