Banned from zoo.
Again?
was it more than 30 minutes?
ya
then you're in a relationship
You must have had one hell of a time explaining to that girl why aladin soundtrack was playing on repeat in your room when you got back
i don't care what you say, the winery is open and 10am is NOT too early to go barrel tasting
Dude. Hurry up. They just blessed the tequila.
Woke up with a chicken parm sandwich in my clutch. Aaaand I'm eating it.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
Its like I instantly had a mental image of me in my mugshot.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
there is nothing worst than getting kicked in the face by a stripper
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Walk of shaming into my apartment. No one to clap me in. Come home!
I'm just imagining Oprah like "you're popping a boner, and you're popping a boner...EVERYONE IS POPPING A BONER"
I'm going to make a stack of pancakes and fuck it. Right now.
Randomize
