you definitely have a few illegitimate kids
probs. Not too worried about it though. MOst girls are too embarrassed that they let me into their pants that they'll never admit its mine
Facebook is used to stalk your friends, Twitter is used to stalk celebritie=s, and Myspace is used to stalk underaged girls. Everything else is porn. T=he Internet in a nutshell.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
I love Japanese schoolgirls with short skirts riding bikes on windy days.
You're never coming back, are you?
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
It's ok for me to have his baby but I can't be his friend on fb. Wth is wrong with this
What's the politically correct way of saying you've made someone your bitch?
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
I smoked out of two pipes at the same time while my friends wielded the lighters last night. It felt like I graduated to the next level of stoner.
Until you have had Country Grammar stuck in your head whilst writing a Supreme Court brief you've never lived.
BILL GATES DONALD TRUMP LET ME IN NOW
apparently I like to do this thing where I wear pretty dresses and then pee on things on public. Picture proof. Four times last week.
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
The only good thing about 2020 is that the hot flight attendant neighbors are using my pool a lot. If i can keep them from wandering into my Zoom meeting with my boss I’m golden
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