definition of desperate: He gave me his SC drivers license so i wouldn't forget to facebook him.
STOP SENDING ME DANCING JESUS FORWARDS.
its officail im naming my first born child brickbreaker
Oh my god. I opened up my microwave and there was a pile of bacon in it. It's like my mother knew I'd be hungover.
Tonight's trip to the ER was brought to you by, "fork jousting."
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
YOU CAN'T BASE A RELATIONSHIP OFF A PENIS
I LIKE HIS TONGUE TOO.
It's been over a year since we've been get-so-drunk-you-throw-beer-cans-at-fat-girls-drunk together. That needs to change.
after he went down on me he said he wanted an air freshener for his car scented like my vag. i cant even.
Welp, I can cross "making out with a guy in a dress" off my bucket list...
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
The taste of regret at 8am, yup that taste is Jack Daniel's
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Try sleeping with him.
Why is it that all my gay friends have that solution...
Cuz you will have an answer or have sex.
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