she told me she had a boyfriend but the alcohol told me she didn't
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
Nothing makes my dick softer than hot girls in rain boots.
It's hard to believe so much cum came out of such a small penis.
I am kinda proud of you, its like seeing my slutty baby take its first step
He asked me to coffee and I had no choice but to be honest. So naturally I told him that sobriety and monogomy are not two of my strong suits.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
On a lighter note, the guy I gave a lap dance to then fell asleep on his crotch just facebook friend requested me..
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Apparently drinking in your car before going into a sales meeting is frowned upon. We are car sales men not doctors.
I need an inhaler full of pot for all of this breathless rage.
A woman with Alzheimer's pointed at me and said, "Don't forget to wear socks, because you're a lady!" I think it's legit advice.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
A German guy asked me to take a bath with him. I can't tell if he's just an eccentric European or a run of the mill creep.
Randomize
