i keep myself tagged when other girls look bad/ugly so i look better
So i got in my car, the seats are leaned back, and soft soul music is playing. Wtf happened last night.
How do you politely bring up someone's criminal record?
Is drinking merlot and watching womens figure skating by myself gay?
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Apparently someone switched my cash for monopoly money after midnight so I couldn't get any more drinks at the bar
She made me go down the fire escape when her mom came for breakfast.
Why don't we skip the roadtrip entirely, save us the trip, and go straight to jail?
Let's have sex soon. Just us!! Its sad that I have to specify.
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
She showed me her tits and my first thought was "I want these to feed my future children." I'm scared.
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
How many times have you told me to call 911 this week?
Lol twice
Just finished 151. Eating nutella off a spoon. Bring condoms.
my face feels like mints and my body feels like tingles
Randomize
