And then I'm going to yell into her vagina and see if it echoes
I woke up this morning really drunk with my Christmas lights on and two owls in my bed.
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
He made me a mix cd. There is obviously something wrong with him.
Ia nefed hefelkp i am a taxi
He just asked me to pee through my panties while he watched. I might need more tequila for this one.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
Am I the only one that feels like there are hundreds of tiny people having a rave and stomping and kicking around inside my head this morning?
There is a girl in my drunk limo who hasn't seen an uncircumcised penis. Hook me up with a picture.
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
I left him naked in his bed. I did cover his junk with a blanket in case his roommate walked in later though. so I don't feel as bad about it.
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
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