How crunk are you?
I'm a Tom Selleck. Zero being Tipper Gore and max being the Bush twins
is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
i don't care who i fucked last night, until im at 43plus im not considering myself slutty
After we did it I noticed she was wearing the same underwear as last night.
That's why you don't sleep with the same girl two nights in a row man!
I was trying not to text you this weekend, so I deleted your number when I was sober. Then auto restore at midnight. It was like drunk magic
Youre on making sure I dont black out around fat chicks duty
Can you please tell him to stop calling me ma'am? I'm starting to remember what it's like to have self respect
She's the drunk girl with the air-horn and sunflower seeds.
it wasnt even considered partying. it was like "ok, who can get the most shitfaced and not pass out"
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
I just think his face would be more attractiveif it was framed by my thighs
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
She threw her burger out the car window last night. My vegan neighbors were not pleased but I’m pretty sure I saw a for sale sign go up on their lawn so I owe her one.
I'm not having sex with him if he doesn't believe in gay marriage and abortions.
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