I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Just saw a Mexican guy pushing a stroller with 3 twelve packs of corona in it with a toddler struggling to keep up on foot behind him
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
im sitting in a tub with a sombrero on.. im just kind of confused.
Good point, clearly my love of penis contributed to my torn knee ligament.
Just stop talking to douche bags. How do you manage to attract every asshole within a 100 mile radius?
If i could answer that i wouldn't be so afraid to move to a more populated area
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
You were stoned out of your mind. We were eating cold cuts and you wouldn't shut up about how it was the wettest meat you'd ever felt in your life.
I vaguely remember taking a yard light, holding it up like the statue of liberty, and all of us at the party chanting the national anthem. What a glorious night
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Lol he touched my butt after his grad party and a shooting star went by. No kidding. My ass is mystical.
I'm eating taquitos in the bathtub at 5:30 am. What a great end to the night
Can we talk about how she only slept with you because you remind her of a member of a K-pop group?
I don't know where you went, but if you're anywhere near the liquor, pour me another drink
it wasnt weird until his dog watched upclose as i put a tampon in
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