How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She just stuck her hand down the strippers pants. Shit just got real.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
I woke up to find my purse full of puke, and all I could think was not again.
I'm not sure what step "make amends" is, but my phone is on
My one night stand said I love you, opened my fridge, stole my cream cheese and left.
Also this time, I didn't have a random creepy guy come up from behind me, grab my junk, and whisper "where's the cocaine?" in my ear. So that's also a win.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
She's got Mike in the bathroom. He's covered in meat.
There was pot, but there are no Doritos, no Funyons, no Oreos.
Send help.
I have a horrible feeling I left my dildo in the kitchen today after washing it. This is my life.
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
Randomize
