i forgot to tell you that olivia sent me a text yesterday that the mormon girl got caught with weed in her vagina at school
herpes texted me again. he says he wants my vagina.
ok we should really consider changing this guys nickname...
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I have realized now that neither the top nor bottom of a bunk bed is safe for sex....
Yeah i knew he wasn't okay when he told me he was "seeing his vision"
Should I be curious about Jeffrey randomly sending me a picture of him holding a crab, or just move on with my life?
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
This old guy just saw me toking on my bubbler before I go to the dentist. He gave me the nod.
She gives the worst handjobs, it was like raw meat on a cheese grater
Told some chick I'm a virgin, on my way to her house as I type this. Debating crying afterwards to fuck with her head.
For real, I've been ditched by my boyfriend twice today alone. I fucking shaved for this guy.
Somewhere out there, Gloria Steinem just started to cry.
It was just a Craigslist hook up but she wore sweats. Where are the girls with class?
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I am available for nakedness
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
