She might as well just lie down with one of those red "Easy Buttons" next to her
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
Trying to find a reliable dealer on Rockfordmugshots.com. Guy arrested for 15 grams of coke could be him !
You realize those people have been ARRESTED recently. right.
Every grown women needs to pee herself once in her life. It builds character.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
A drank guy in the ER just sang Trouble to me and when he sang 'Lying on the cold hard ground' he threw himself onto the ground and landed on the wrist he'd just broken. Thirsty Thursday is weird already and it's not even 5.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
Bought pregnancy tests in bulk off amazon. Kinda feel insulted that it asked if I wanted to subscribe for regular shipments.
he just ran into my room in his giant penis costume yelling "supercock to the rescue"... I am still in total shock
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
Randomize
