Fuck. sleeping in my sisters room again I heard zombie noises outside my window
can we take a shower together?
no need for the romantic shit. I'm a sure thing
I got a hennah tattoo of my room number on my arm...I love spring break in Mexico!
I bought a sword. Make the proper arrangements.
All I know is she walked in crying with a bag of limes and a bottle of tequila and has been locked in her room blasting lil wayne ever since.
Can we please get on skype for like 20 seconds so i can show you my penis and the spiderman temporary tattoo that is right above it
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Why do you have an empty bottle of port in your bathroom bin?
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
We were watchin sharknado and we hooked up while I had the Donald Trump shirt on. She said she felt like he was staring at her
I didn't want to leave, I wanted to move into his ass
You called your ex, and talked to her for an hour about how you miss her, came back inside and asked the girl with the biggest tits if you could take a pic with your face in them and sent her the picture.
Please tell me that nice older woman you're with at the bar is not your comp&lit professor.
Randomize
