I woke up in a strange girl's bed and rifled through her mail to get her name.
he like comes into my room and is like..."can you fix my pants" and then just drops trou
It's gotten to the point where NOT peeing in the sink feels strange and uncomfortable.
Hookup with hot guy from gym, check. Wake up to find he's peed in my closet, double check.
And by that I mean I told her the plot of the first batman movie as my life and it took her like 20 minutes to figure it out
Man, jail baloney is awful.
God gave him joint rollers for hands
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
they call him the transporter because he'll be your designated driver in exchange for sufficient weed or sex.\n
what about money
no - he has a code he lives by
I'd be careful with that one, she got 86'd from the family dollar while SOBER.
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
I just want to sit in my tub, drugged out of my mind, and watch the green lantern cartoon while the world as we know it ceases to exist outside my bathroom door, Okay? Is that REALLY too much to ask?
Thanks for leaving me with drunk gabby
Hahahaha why what's happening?
She's sending me morse code through the wall....typical
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
How high do u want to get? Just kind of high or yelling at swans high...
Swans
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