Really stoned
just sent my roommate on a cheese run
1 of the best things of being a business owner is I don't get fired for having sex in the office
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
then he tried to convert me to islam
Mike is so stoned. I just heard him quietly mutter to himself "rock a piss" as he walked down the hall to the bathroom
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
Hey, you gotta think, is this REALLY the penis you wanna see for the rest of your life? THINK!
I'm drinking wine from the cap of my laundry detergent container, wearing my bed sheet as a cape. How do you think I'm taking it?
My motherfucking vibrator ran out of batteries right when I was about to orgasm. It's like he's possessed everything sexual in my life and has compelled it to NOT SATISFY ME.
I think we need a list of things that are automatic NO's for dating a guy. Married, definitely a no now
I'm trying to be celibate. I'm having me time. I'm eating cake.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
The last thing I remember was them slipping shots into my beer bong, and me being happy about it
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