I put my bosses number in my phone as "Do not call," I shouldve known my drunk curiosity would overcome any desire I had to keep my job.
again?
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
speaking of creep .. love how I kept touching strangers faces at the bar ... and saying "Don't worry I'm a dermatologist"
He ripped off his socks and ran around the basement barefoot. His feet turned black. Then he chugged Parmesan cheese. He chugged dry cheese dude.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
That was the night I passed out and someone threw chicken at me. SORRY I wasn't available to cockblock you from that Hispanic dude.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
No. You're getting a Viking funeral and I'm pawning your shit.
I think I may be going on too many job interviews. I've started to bring up Shonda Rhimes in my interview answers.
Fuck I think I want to but I don't think I should. Caught between should and wanting.
just follow your vagina
Quote of the day.
He asked me how many starwars references he could make before i no longer find him attractive.
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
so you might not believe this but he made a powerpoint. and gave you a 3.5/10.
Talk all the shit you want but I slept in a oversized monster truck tire last night.
Randomize
