i threw up in a trash can last night at kellys irish times. but in a trash can because i'm a lady
So i decided to deal with the awkwardness of last night by making out with all three of them
We didn't have beer, so we played mini-beer pong with shots and frozen peas.
These old men are woofing at me..PLEASE HURRY
She tried to sleep on the front steps of her salon so she wouldn't be late for work and these people put her in a cab to my house. She is nothing if not responsible. Can u imagine her boss finding her there this morning?
Employee of the year! :)
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
My girlfriend is studying for the MCAT by watching The Magic Schoolbus. There go my dreams of being a househusband.
mate, my mother watched me threw up out of my nose wearing only a g-string.
there's still three solo cups of your puke in my basement. so that needs to be solved at some point.
i came so hard i kicked through my windshield
I just sent you a multitude of sexual pictures...and you responded with a Charles Dickens Quote.
I woke wondering who the hell was in my bed. Then i felt boobs and remembered Haha. Thirsty Thursday killed my liver and my homosexuality
Oh, cold wet seat on the 48! Are you piss? Are you the sweaty ass leavings of an obese person? Are you the spilled King Cobra from the night before? I do not know! I dare not smell to find out... Pants ruined...
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
I may be a complete scumbag but even im not willing to spend a grand and sit on a plane for 24 hours just for shrooms and a blowjob
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