She'll never know what hit her
I dunno. Girls tend to recognize ball-to-chin contact.
I can get head just about anywhere nowadays so that's not much of an incentive, coffee on the other hand...
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I'm on my way, but at some point we're going to have to settle who gave who crabs the last time
I just did the math, I've had 8 hours of sleep in the last 3 days. Not sure if that means I am dedicated to my sex life or my job...
Ecstasy should be its own food group.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I just took my birth control with Redi-Whip. I'm that girl.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
My brain is like scrambled eggs. If scrambled eggs were trying to escape out of my skull through my forehead.
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
You guys had reggaeton music playing while dry humping? Definition of romance.
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
I was so drunk, he put me to bed and went down stairs to hang out with his friends. Apparently, I was curled up in the closet, spooning the dresser when he came back up.
Randomize
