I never noticed this but I have a beauty mark on my labia minora
Please tell me how you discovered this.
I was looking in the mirror snooping around
his mom walked in while I was blowing him. he turned around in panic and accidentally punched me in the face. i have a black eye and only half the clothes i came here in. can you give me a ride?
She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
why do cheetos always look like penises
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Girls night always turns into let's seperate and get laid night.
Now they're talking about doing whiskey shots since they're flipping the turkey over. You might need to drive me home.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
Okay. We're coming naked. We need Saran wrap and plastic forks.
Carson when you get home I want you to go downstairs and go into each bedroom and pick up the underwear and either throw it out or give it back to the people who own them. Look all over the room. Thank, Love Mom
Her ex wouldn't stop texting her so she started replying with various pictures of Britney spears's breakdown
My doctor actually said I was suffering from an "acute hangover" in doctor's note I asked him for....what a douche
I have no idea what happened last night, but my pee is neon green.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Randomize
