i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
I feel like a combination of david goes to the dentist and drunkest guy ever goes for more beer
happy birthday! Any relationship between us is now officially illegal.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
But for real though. That weed tastes like the jolly laughter of Santa Claus.
I think you should do the fixer upper relationship. Like lawyers do pro bono work with underserved populations, you can do pro bono relationship work.
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
you should come have a drink with me (non alcoholic or otherwise) im at the same bar as your sister and a few guys that would apparently "lick your butthole"-congratulations
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
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