i am NOT doing that with my feet, or any part of my body
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
I don't wanna be gay for a night.
I think it would be worth it for free alcohol.
Come over so we can have two person sex in this one person tent
I just sold my hat for three car bombs. I call that a win.
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
New vibrator arrived today.
How was it?
Who are these wee mortals we call men?
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
CURRENTLY PLAYING FLIP CUP WITH A WORLD SERIES CHAMPION
I'VE LOST MY DIGNITY, MY PRIDE, AND EVEN MY BOOTY CALL. HAPPY THANKSGIVING.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
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