yeah i just made her a character on oregon trail and i hope she gets dysentry and dies. that'll show her.
Can you please tell me why there's a bottle of urine on my night stand with a note that says "in case you're thirsty in the morning"? Thanks.
god, you should never be in the FBI. you'd give away america's secrets to any boy who asked.
Just had a brita power hour to try to counter act all the wine i chugged last night.....fucking franzia
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
Apparently my face was in the trashcan and in between throw ups I was screaming LOS DIABLOS. I woke up this morning with a bird flying around my room. Nobody seems as concerned as I am.
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
I also tried to hide a bottle of vodka in a build a bear last night so that something that happened in my life
You're the only person I know who's experienced a micropenis and a magnum XL penis
I need your opinion, is it ACTUALLY sweet that a booty call offered to walk me home with an umbrella because it was raining, or is that just low standards?
I’m a go ahead and fuck down ATL. So when I leave in January I’ll have no regrets.
Randomize
