My milkshake brings 85 to 90 percent of the boys to the yard
Could you imagine if a Skynet machine combination of Bob Ross and Chuck Norris were built? It would rule the universe with a soft spoken fan brush of kung fu dominance
It would be truly incredible. I hope we are blessed with this being in our lifetime.
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
The problem is he wears abercrombie jeans like there's nothing wrong with it
Can we comment on the fact that at five thirty this morning, security woke me up in the hotel lobby, in my underwear, and some random guys winter coat?
I knew as soon as I saw that pole that I was going to wake up the next morning with bruises.
I just got turned down by a drunk fat chick. At my own birthday party. God hates me.
she's sniffed three people's necks on the bus to see who the good smell was coming from...
she's gonna get diseases
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
You want to complain about your sex life to me? Right now mine consists of trying to masturbate lightly enough not to wake her up with bed shakes. Go. Fuck. Yourself.
PA to anyone at the party last night and wondering where your pants are: they are in my backyard.
I honestly don't think it will ever get topped. Unless a real female cop arrests me, then fucks me. That's it.
As I was puking, these 2 guys started peeing next to me chanting me on
It was somewhere in between an airport security patdown and a medical examination. No groping or squeezing, just brief pokes and pats.
He said he’s shouting let’s get this bread the first time we have sex...
He’s very straightforward
Randomize
