Every time a guy reaches down to touch my vag, i feel really sorry for all the transgender girls who still have a penis there.
That's weird cause every time i feel a girls vag i feel way worse for all the guys who reached down there and got a penis.
Suck a a big bag of reindeer cock bud. Sent from church. See you in hell
Should I mail that cop his nightstick or just throw it away?
I know it's not standard practice to meet the couple you donate to, but i'm curious as to what kind of people saw my picture and said, we want that girl's eggs
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
He just showed up to brunch with one shoe and only the battery from his phone.
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
Drunk me Does not appreciate a drunk, naked you kicking me off the couch at 3am. You have a bed here, you dick
Matt. This is the manager of qdoba. Pick up the phone. Your friend needs you.
I think the worst was the guy who sent me YouTube videos about how age doesn't matter, and then a link for natural breast enhancements. Kill me.
This Christmas I would like to thank Jesus for cocaine.
i'm pretty sure you can't sue someone for "Taking a shit on my kitchen floor."
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
Things he has managed to cum on so far on spring break: my bikini, my back-up bikini, three of my four bras, two pairs of panties, four beds, six chairs, the floor of several hotel rooms, the window/door to the balcony from both sides, my tits, my face, my stomach, his stomach, my ass, his best friend's girlfriend's face, and his best friend's dick.
Just FYI spring break is over and you're supposed to be back in class but hey sounds like you had your orgy so congrats.
not only was there glitter in the toilet after i peed, but there was some on the toilet paper after i wiped. this cant be healthy.
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