My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
as soon as you compare a person to an animal, all sexual interest is out the window
omh. i just found SHIT IN THE SHOWER! who the fuck does that? and why do i always seem to find it?
An ad on my facebook says "don't be THAT girl". Its like it knows.
Right now im sitting at home and all i can think about is im eating calories and i should be out drinking them.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
I felt that there wouldn't be enough planB and forgiveness to go around
also Jesus you really need to change your diet. I just washed your baby gravy out of my hair and it's so acidic my hair is damaged. You have killer sperm
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
I've gotten 2 singers numbers, a 6'5 dude has promised to take me to Oktoberfest, and I spent the night w a pilot named Zeus who looks like caramel tastes. Also I sprained my thumb punching some guy I named 'hater'. I love Nashville
Him naked in my bed with a bottle of vodka in one hand, a pipe in the other, and a rose in his mouth.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
I think you'll appreciate my way of waking up today: Under my cubicle, boxed in by boxes of printer paper, and hung over. I don't even know how the fuck I got in here in the middle of the night. I went to my car and fell back asleep. I'm now 2 1/2 hours late.
Randomize
