Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
Eating a girl out that was just in the ocean does not make her taste like saltwater taffy
She handed me a mouthguard and said "here, you're going to need this" that rough.
we just plugged the camera up to the big screen. would you like to come see what you did last night, in high definition?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
She ended up puking in the bathroom. But she's a good drunk... i told her to stay in there so i could dance til the club closed. She was still in the stall an hour later.
Why must everything this weekend have to do with something going into or coming out of my vagina?
My most recent midlife crisis involved eating a doughnut in 30 seconds but taking 5 minutes to do half a shot of whiskey, then deciding I wasn't going to finish it.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
I'm just sayin. If your gonna cheat go for someone TOTALLY different. Fucking her twin would be a waste.
I found out his moms name, maiden name, profession, and office location, his dads name and profession, his home phone, picture of their house, all of his work profiles, and the cost of their house. All I'm trying to do is find his damn twitter
I'll be honest, I too would punch the 21 year old version of myself in the face, and then have rough sex with him.
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
I am afraid of asking him for his new number so I continue to text the one that's no longer in service.
Guess whose grandma smokes weed?
Randomize
