I swear if I see one more guy in a v-neck and fedora I'm going to punch someone in the balls. This is philly, you're not supposed to look like Ryan Cabrera
i'm at a baby shower....never been happier to not be having sex currently
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
martini and pecan pie.. breakfast of champions.
I just test ran being their maid. I'm getting 50 bucks a month and they're buying the costume.
I'm more concerned with the fact that he was UNconcerned that live poultry could peck him in the nutsack @ any moment of sex
You may have graduated college on time, but my 6th year ass gets to see awesome tits every day just for showing up.
Im just saying it can't be that bad if he drove himself to the er. We'll head that way when we finish playing scattergories
Here's how he asked the pregnant girl for a cigarette. Hey yo prego throw me a square. Not joking.
This is what we do on Thursday nights. Spray tans, blunts and drawing pictures of cats.
His name is Dustib. Not a typo. I just can't.
I think I puked in the middle of sex last night if that's any indication as to how drunk I was.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
