What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
umm..so Dad's wearing a thong, I don't know what to do
put a dollar in it?
I just busted my ass on the ice in front of my entire AA meeting. As if being there wasn't embarrassing enough.
so yeah i told her you were going to become a doctor and the first thing she said was "i still don't want to fuck him". i tried.
I feel like I have streams of color and coldness wrapping around my body.
ugh i can't even wear this perfume anymore. it just brings back blurry memories of blowjobs and regret.
3-9 out of 10... Depends on the situation. Taco Bell is more of an idea than a restaurant.
How stoned are you?
You were fine, but your knee injury definitely came from interpretive dancing like a gay fairy with lead wings all around the Mission St BART. Everyone thought you were on drugs.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
Balls deep in an Orange is the New Black marathon. Bring food and drugs.
Some dude with an OSU jersey just kissed him in the face in front of everyone. I should mention he's wearing a Panda costume. And has already been offered $20 for his suit by Plushies for oral sex.
we should most definitely have a fire extinguisher in the apartment. like... for sure
holy shit the yoga instructor bought his baby pig to class today
Well I finally got to say all the things I wanted to say. Including telling him he looks like a naked mole rat
I brought an already opened bag of trail mix from home to snack on today. Some motherfucker ate all the m&ms out of it. I hate my roommates
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