That's when you crack a 10am beer
dude why did you let me call her?!
i told you it was a bad idea and to quote you exactly, you said "no, it's a good idea..that's what people do when they love each other." you met her 15 minutes prior to that conversation...
I walked into my house this morning to find an 18 pack on the counter. I think that's gods way of ringing the bell for round two.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Received world's greatest BJ while in a planetarium. Was seeing stars while seeing stars.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
And she was like "I wanted you all for myself, to love you, and treat you like gold."... See this is why I shouldn't fuck Italian chicks...
he slipped a picture of a kangaroo under my door that said "im sorry" on the back and passed out on my lawn.. who the fuck is this kid?
It took me fifteen minutes to go from puking on my doorstep infront of my old lady neighbor to legit presentable person able to care for children. Bronzing powder and I deserve an award.
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
Locals got pissed I was talking to the barmaid. Tried to tell me that they keep all the good beer at "a Soho walkup" Google saved me
Will you fuck me while I eat my burrito though? I'm kind of hungry.
i don't know man... i just want to listen to John Lennon every time i finish fucking her. is this love?
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
